First Time I Love Forever
by syaoran no hime
Summary: When all hope to survive is lost, Eriol finds a new reason to fight for his life...a young lady by the name of Tomoyo Daidouji. This is my Yuletide Romance Presentation to everyone.
1. Default chapter

First Time I Love Forever  
  
"All is not well,Kaho."said the tired voice of Eriol Hiragizawa.  
  
"The price of cheating death,Master Eriol.The grim reaper knows no mage or mortal."replied Kaho Mizuki,watching the boy from the doorway.  
  
He placed his hands on the window pane and watched the endless snow descend on the lonely streets of London."I want to go home."  
  
"To Japan?But Master,you do not feel physically well enough!"protested the woman.  
  
He turned to her,smiling."Kaho,please tell my friends to pack their bags.I'm coming home."  
  
  
  
A few days later...  
  
"A little more to the right."instructed 15-year-old Tomoyo Daidouji as she critically surveyed her self-made crimson-and-green curtains on the classroom windows.She shook her head."No,to the left."she amended.  
  
Li Syaoran sighed exasperatedly."To-mo-yo!This is the ELEVENTH time in one hour that you've asked me to change this thing!Can't you take pity on me and let me go down to rest?"  
  
She pouted."But I want to make sure everything is perfect!Besides,where's the fire and energy you displayed five years ago when you were still capturing those Clow Cards with Sakura?How come you're exhausted with such a simple task like hanging curtains?"  
  
Li rolled his eyes."The battles lasted for only minutes.Aside fronm that,my arms weren't outstretched for a whole hour!"  
  
Tomoyo pressed her hands together in a prayer position and bowed."Please Li!Let's just finish this one last task then you can rest.I-I'll feed you anything you want!"  
  
The corners of his mouth twitched."Well.."  
  
"I'll help Sakura sneak out from Touya tonight so you guys can go out and see a movie!"she continued.  
  
"Deal!"he shouted.He energetically picked the fabric up."So where do I put this,huh?To the left?More?Lower?Ok,is this fine,huh,huh?"  
  
She laughed.Ah,the power of symbiosis coupled with a "white" blackmail."Too low!Move it higher!"  
  
  
  
"Oh man,I sure hope Li doesn't have another persona living in him too."mumbled Tomoyo as she painstakingly carried an enormous tray plied high with food."Can Li really finish all of these?"She then recalled the diabolically gleeful smile on Li's face as he ordered almost everything on the menu after she allowed him to go down from the ladder to rest."Nah,he's just taking revenge on me for making him toil for sixty minutes."She turned right in the corner and crashed right through a person.Sandwiches,noodles,chocolates,juice and rice fell everywhere-on the floor,on her skirt and on the poor fellow's expensive-looking coat.Tomoyo panickedly assisted the man."Oh my,I'm so sorry!I didn't mean to-"  
  
"No,it's OK."He stood up and adjusted his glasses."T-Tomoyo?"  
  
She looked startled.The deep male voice sounded so familiar."Excuse me,but have we met somewhere,Mister?"  
  
A slow smile spread across his face."Yes.Yes,I believe so.Five years is such a long time though,so it is possible you have forgotten me already."He turned his back on her."Very well,proper introductions will be made later."  
  
"Wait!"Tomoyo hurried to him."Give me your coat."  
  
Though puzzled,he slipped his stained coat off and handed it to her.  
  
She smiled."I'll clean this.You can get it from me later.You can find me here."She gave him her school ID."I'm sure you'll give that back because I can feel that this is not the last time we'll see each other."She waved goodbye before running away.  
  
Eriol Hiragizawa looked down at the ID on his palm."Tomoyo..Daidouji."For a moment,he thought he felt his heart leap as he gazed at the smiling matured version of his old classmate in the picture.He quickly shook his head as if that would snap himself out of his trance.He placed the ID in between the pages of his notebook before continuing on his way to the principal's office.  
  
  
  
"Good morning,class.Today we have a new student with us from England.He studied here in Japan five years ago too,so some of you may not be strangers to him anymore.Everyone,please welcome your new classmate,Eriol Hiragizawa."  
  
Amidst the low buzzes inside the classroom,Eriol stepped forward to speak."Good morning,everyone.I used to study in Tomoeda Elementary School,but I had to return to London to attend to some urgent matters.But now,I'm back,and hopefully,for good."He was vaguely aware of the shocked faces of Sakura and Li,but it was Tomoyo whom he was really watching.  
  
"Mr.Hiragizawa,why don't you take the seat next to Ms.Daidouji?"said the teacher.  
  
Eriol made his way to his seat quietly.He pulled the seat and settled before looking straight at the blackboard.The teacher had begun the lesson already and was writing some dates down.Everone took out their notes as well.  
  
As he dutifully copied the lecture,a note slid to his arm.He quickly read it:  
  
  
See?I told you we'll meet again!  
  
  
He turned to his seatmate and found her absorbed on writing the lecture.She suddenly faced him and threw him a quick grin.  
  
Eriol smiled back.He stuffed the note in between his notebook pages and continued with the lecture.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
  
Next chapter preview...  
  
"Master Eriol,you've been holding that coat for hours!I demand to know what is so special about a day-old school coat?"said Spinel.  
  
He didn't reply.He merely stroked the smooth fabric of his coat,wishing it was Tomoyo's porcelain-like skin instead.  
  
Meanwhile,Kaho was watching her master's peculiar behavior.Something is definitely up and she must know what is it."Please don't let happen what I think is happening to him.He can't fall in love..not when his days are numbered." 


	2. 

Chapter 2  
  
"Mr.Hiragizawa,do you mind taking these papers to the Home Ec teacher?"asked their adviser.  
  
"Not at all,Mr.Ryoujin."Eriol took the stacks of paper.  
  
It was their lunch break.Everyone but him left for the canteen.He didn't feel hungry,and if he tried forcing food into his mouth,he knew he would just throw up.  
  
Kaho and his servants were already alarmed by how little he ate these past days but they could not do anything.It was just one of the ominous sighns of his fate,and not even the highest form of sorcery or magic can ever affect the natural course of destiny and the universal law of life and death.They knew their master had violated the law by his mere existence,for he was only a reincarnation.He should not be here for he was long dead.  
  
Eriol paused in front of the Home Ec room.He knocked twice and waited.  
  
"Come in!"a voice sang out.  
  
He entered the room and found Tomoyo ironing something."Good afternoon,Tomoyo."he greeted.  
  
She looked up,startled."I-I thought you were Mrs.Hiroshito."She was referring to their Home Ec teacher.  
  
"Well I was bringing these papers for her."He took a paperweight from the teacher's desk and placed it on top of the stack.He then walked towards Tomoyo."Have you taken your lunch already?"  
  
She shook her head."I want to finish this first."After a few more presses and slides,she pulled the plug off.She then handed the neatly-ironed fabric to him."As I promised,here is your coat.I handwashed it and ironed it so you can wear it already."  
  
Eriol took the coat.As he stared at the cloth,he felt something warm touch his heart."Thank you,Tomoyo,er Daidouji-san."  
  
She laughed.The merry sound tickled his senses."Tomoyo is fine,Hiragizawa-kun."  
  
"Call me Eriol,please."  
  
She nodded."How about you,Eriol?Have you eaten lunch already?"  
  
He shook his head."I don't take lunch."  
  
"Oh.."Tomoyo didn't know what to reply.  
  
"Thanks for the coat anyway."he said softly before exiting the room.  
  
  
  
"..and that's all for today.Good day,class."The Math teacher left the room.  
  
"Let's walk home together."said Tomoyo,a hopeful smile on her pretty face.  
  
He averted eye contact."I-I'm..I don't think so,Tomoyo.I'm sorry."  
  
Her face fell."I-I see."She smiled again."Maybe next time."  
  
He nodded,smiling too.Not returning her bright smile is next to impossible."Definitely."  
  
  
  
That night,Eriol was contentedly sitting on his comfy reading chair,an open book on his lap.He wasn't reading though.He was holding his navy blue coat that Tomoyo washed and ironed for him.  
  
"Master Eriol,you've been holding that coat for hours!I demand to know what is so special about a day-old school coat?"said Spinel.  
  
He didn't reply.He merely stroked the smooth fabric of his coat,wishing it was Tomoyo's porcelain-like skin instead.  
  
Meanwhile,Kaho was watching her master's peculiar behavior.Something is definitely up and she must know what is it."Please don't let happen what I think is happening to him.He can't fall in love..not when his days are numbered."  
  
  
Suddenly,Eriol clutched his chest.His face was twisted in unmeasurable pain and his breath came in short,continous rasps.  
  
"Master Eriol!"the three shouted.  
  
Kaho acted quickly and used her power to ease his pain.Seconds later,Eriol's breathing returned to normal,but he was still perspiring visibly.  
  
"Poor Master.."was all Nakuru could say.  
  
  
  
December 17(the next morning)  
  
"What are you doing here?"asked Kaho,her voice unusually sharp.  
  
Tomoyo stepped back and smiled uncertainly."I was thinking that since Eriol and I live in the same neighborhood,I might as well fetch him every morning so we can go to school together."  
  
Her frown deepened."Eriol is perfectly capable of going to school..alone."she said pointedly.  
  
Something registered in the girl's eyes."I see."  
  
"Not today,Kaho.I think company might do me some good today."a baritone voice interrupted authoratively.It was Eriol Hiragizawa,dressed for school already.  
  
Kaho shot him a disapproving look,but he merely ignored it.Instead he turned to Tomoyo."Have you eaten breakfast?Nakuru and Spinel are inside,wolfing down the pancakes,and they will certainly be delighted if you join them."  
  
"No thank you.I'm full."  
  
"Then let's go."Eriol slung his backpack over his shoulders.  
  
  
  
"Um,Eriol?"Tomoyo began,looking at the boy sideways.They were near the school gates already.  
  
"Kaho is not my girlfriend."replied Eriol.  
  
The girl blushed."How did you know what I was about to ask?"  
  
He smiled briefly."I am Clow Reed."he said as if that would explain everything.  
  
"How I wish you are not!You know too much!"she complained yet smiling good-naturedly.  
  
"Me too."his mind agreed.With all his heart,how he wished he wasn't.  
  
  
  
"For our art class,you can choose whichever subject you want as long as it's the best christmas gift you've ever received. in your life."explained the teacher."It will be passed on Thursday next week,with the best ones to be exhibited in the halls leading to the grand auditorium of our school,the site of the town's christmas ball."  
  
"Goody!"Li remarked sourly.  
  
"Oh don't be so down,Li Syaoran!Where's your christmas spirit?"cheered Sakura.  
  
"Where's my drawing talent?"he cried.  
  
Eriol smiled.He might as well do one silly art project.After all,this is his last christmas.  
  
"Do you have an idea for the project,Eriol?"asked his seatmate.  
  
He shrugged."I'll think of one tonight."  
  
"I'm sure you'll come up with the best idea in our class!"said Tomoyo.  
  
The simple praise made his heart dance again,and he knew he was perilously close to a syndrome he thought only his cute descendant and the normal human beings are capable of:blushing."Thank you,Tomoyo."  
  
She smiled sweetly,and at once,he knew he lost the battle of colors,particularly on his face.  
  
Sakura caught him.Li did too,but Tomoyo was blissfully oblivious.She was talking with Chiharu about the project.  
  
Eriol cursed himself for the near-fatal fumble he committed.No,he must not let her know-not even the faintest idea about his feelings.No way!  
  
"Eriol?"Tomoyo suddenly called.  
  
"H-Huh?!What?"he asked,flustered.  
  
Her eyes crinkled into a smile."Do you want to go with Sakura,Li and me to the park this afternoon?"  
  
He shook his head slowly and with great difficulty."I do not feel too well."he said truthfully.  
  
"Well in that case,I'll just accompany you home."she replied.  
  
"Oh Tomoyo,don't!You go ahead with them-"  
  
"I want to be with you!"she burst out.  
  
"Y-You do?"he croaked.  
  
She nodded."I'm walking you home and that's final!"  
  
As she strode towards the couple to inform them of the sudden change of plans,Eriol watched her with mute longing.At the same time,a new fear rose in him-a fear he thought he handled very well and took care of long ago.  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 3 PREVIEW  
  
"Will you still go back there?"asked Syaoran.  
  
"No.I will spend the rest of my days here."replied Eriol.  
  
"Is it because of a certain someone?"he pressed.  
  
Eriol immediately knew where the conversation was heading.He was tired of denying so in a resigned tone,he said,"Fine.I love Tomoyo.Satisfied?" 


	3. 

Chapter 3  
  
That night,Kaho visited her master in his bedroom.She was not the least surprised to see him staring dreamily at a picture in an ID.She didn't need a crystal ball to predict who owned the ID.  
  
"Good evening,Master."she greeted as she sat in front of him.  
  
Eriol's face burned as he quickly tried to hide the ID but the woman quickly swapped it away from him.She sighed before showing the picture.  
  
He turned into a deeper shade of red."S-She means nothing to me."  
  
"I hope so,Master.I trust you're aware of the impending crisis."said Kaho gravely.  
  
He shut his eyes tight."Yes,I have no means of escaping my fate."  
  
"That is why I don't want you to get too asttatched to MS.Daidouji.I want you to accept your fate easier.If you fall in love with her and the time comes for you to go,you might find it hard to say goodbye."  
  
He opened his eyes and looked beggingly at the red-haired woman."I want to retire to my bed now."  
  
She stood up."Goodnight,young master.Be strong."She returned Tomoyo's ID before leaving the room.  
  
  
  
December 18  
  
"I haven't thought of a good idea for our art project yet.How about you?"asked Tomoyo as they walked to school that morning.  
  
He smiled mysteriously."It's a secret."  
  
She pouted before laughing."Ok,if you say so.Speaking of gifts,I'm shopping for christmas presents tomorrow afternoon.Do you want to come?"  
  
"Well.."  
  
"If it's not possible,I can change the schedule.."she added.  
  
"No,tomorrow is fine."he replied.He didn't have the heart to turn her down again after she had been so kind to offer him so many invitations.  
  
Her face brightened."Great!"  
  
  
  
Eriol's pencil broke off for the fifth time.He was irritated..VERY irritated.He looked at the boys who were flocking around Tomoyo's desk like butterflies as Tomoyo dictated the recipe for blueberry cheesecake.  
  
"Of all the recipes in the culinary world,why did they have to choose THAT recipe for the Home Ec project?"he muttered wryly.  
  
"Eriol!"Sakura called him over to her desk.  
  
He stood up grudgingly."Good morning,Sakura."he said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Oh Eriol!Wipe that silly scowl of your face!It's almost christmas!"  
  
"I can't help it!Those fools are surrounding our desk and suffocating me and Tomoyo!"he said as he sat down in front of her.  
  
She winked."Admit it!You're furious!Very,very,VERY furious!"  
  
He forced a blank stare.  
  
"You know what I mean!"She leaned over to his ear and whispered conspiratorially,"It's only natural!Tomoyo is one of the prettiest girls in the campus.Of course half of the male population would pounce on the opportunity to get to talk to her!"  
  
"Why are you telling me this?"  
  
Sakura smiled."Because you look quite homicidal to me.Just to avoid the bloodshed.."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're jealous."she stated softly.  
  
  
  
"OK,so even Sakura knows that I like Tomoyo.Big deal!Surely nothing can be much worse than that!"Eriol told himself soothingly while inside the Men's CR.  
  
"Hiragizawa!"  
  
"Or maybe not."he muttered as he scooped some more water to his scarlet face.  
  
Li Syaoran sat on the sink,frowning."We need to talk."  
  
"If it's about Tomoyo,forget it!"he snapped.  
  
Li shook his head."Why did you go back to Japan?Are the cards on the loose again?"  
  
"No,I just want to get away from the gray loneliness of London."  
  
"Will you still go back there?"asked Syaoran.  
  
"No.I will spend the rest of my days here."replied Eriol.  
  
"Is it because of a certain someone?"he pressed.  
  
Eriol immediately knew where the conversation was heading.He was tired of denying so in a resigned tone,he said,"Fine.I love Tomoyo.Satisfied?"  
  
Li jumped down and grabbed him by the collar."Listen Hiragizawa,you better be sure about your feelings!Both Sakura and I love Tomoyo very much,and if you dare hurt her or make her cry,I swear,I'll kill you."  
  
He smiled weakly."Don't worry,Li Syaoran.I do not intend to tell her how I feel."  
  
Li released him."But why?"  
  
At the same moment,Eriol collapsed to the floor.He was twisting and turning in pain as the fluorescent lights of the room flickered.All the faucets turned on at the same time while the mirror and the windows cracked.  
  
"Hiragizawa!!"Li quickly attended to him."What the hell is going on??!"  
  
When Eriol didn't reply,he used his power to calm him down.Minutes later,Eriol slumped down the floor,catching his breath."See..see what I mean?This is the reason why I can never tell her how I feel.."  
  
"Hiragizawa,don't speak!Rest if you must!"Li ordered.  
  
"I'm dying."  
  
"B-But how.."  
  
"My power is eating me up."explained the boy.Though still dizzy,Eriol forced himself to sit up.He looked at the brown-haired boy."Do not tell anyone about what you have seen and heard in this room,understood?"  
  
"But-"  
  
"Understood?"His voice sounded more urgent.  
  
Li nodded."Gentlemen's agreement."The two men shook hands.  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 4 PREVIEW  
  
"What do you want for christmas,Eriol?"asked Tomoyo eagerly.  
  
"Long life."He absentmindedly replied.Realizing what he said,he covered it with a forced laugh."A girlfriend would be nice too."  
  
Tomoyo froze."A girlfriend,you say?"  
  
Eriol was silenced too. 


	4. 

Chapter 4  
  
"See you tomorrow,Eriol!"Tomoyo waved goodbye before she entered the gates leading to her mansion.  
  
Eriol waved back,smiling too.He then continued on his way home.As he walked,he noticed the breathtaking indigo-and-orange skies above him.He sighed.  
  
Back in London,these skies were a welcome sight to him.It signals the end of the hustle-bustle of the city-of the busy streets,the seemingly endless flow of cheap chitchat and the crazy noises of the city.It tells him that serenity has returned,giving him back the peace of mind he needed to ponder and reflect about how the day went,to engage in intense,setious conversations with Kaho,or simply to rest his body exhausted from leading a double life of a grown-up man and a fifteen-year-old university scholar.The descent of the sun means the return of his solitude,his time to speak with his thoughts,or to surround himself with the ideas of other great men inside his enormous library.  
  
But ever since he'd known Tomoyo,his outlook changed.He began to look forward more to the time the afternoon and the evenings end.He would look pleadingly at the hands of the grandfather clock,urging it to move fater,He would toss and turn at his bed at night,wondering if Tomoyo was already peacefully asleep or was she awake like him too,who was going nuts over guessing whether she feels the same way for him as he does.He would go out to the balcony and under the stars and the moon,he would shout to the vast darkness how much he loves Tomoyo.  
  
Finally,when he sees the first signs of the morning-joggers running leisurely around the park,shops opening,early bird students and workers rushing to the streets,and the resume of the chatters and crazy noises he had grown accustomed to in both London and Japan-he would rejoice,for it would mean another whole day to spend with the woman he loves the most.  
  
And under the sea-blue sky broken only by a steady golden stream of cheerful sunlight,he and Tomoyo would walk,talk and joke together.His day had then begun.  
  
"Master Eriol."Kaho cleared her throat.He looked up and saw himself standing in front of his mansion already.Kaho was holding the front door open for him.  
  
"Thank you."he entered the house as Kaho quietly followed him.He slid off his jacket and put down his backpack."Is supper ready?"  
  
Kaho blinked."You're going to join us in our supper?"  
  
He nodded."I need energy for tomorrow so I can keep up with Tomoyo when we go shopping tomorrow."  
  
The woman shook her head."Master.."  
  
"Let's eat!"interrupted Nakuryu.  
  
  
  
December 19  
  
"I love Saturday,don't you,Eriol?"gushed Tomoyo as they walked towards the shopping mall.  
  
Eriol said nothing but he smiled.He was too busy staring at her and noticing over and over how sweet and refreshing she is to look at in her powder blue summer dress and open-toed sandals.Her hair was held back by silver barrettes.  
  
"What do you want for christmas,Eriol?"asked Tomoyo eagerly.  
  
"Long life."He absentmindedly replied.Realizing what he said,he covered it with a forced laugh."A girlfriend would be nice too."  
  
Tomoyo froze."A girlfriend,you say?"  
  
Eriol was silenced too.   
  
Her chheks turned pink."Any girl would love to grant your wish,but I can't giftwrap either that or long life."  
  
Eriol's face was slightly pink too."You don't have to bother thinking of one.I don't need material things."He looked away."We're here!"  
  
"Let's go to the giftshop in the second floor first."said Tomoyo as she excitedly pulled him in.  
  
  
  
"For Sakura,for Li,for Touya,for Yukito,for Ms.Kaho,for Mother,for Mr.Kinomoto,for Keroberos.."Tomoyo counted the plastic bags Eriol was holding."Two more to go!"  
  
"Where are we going next?"asked Eriol wearily.Where do women get all those energy they use in dodging the crowd,walking around for hours and at the same time,chatting energetically?  
  
"Our last stop is the confectionery store."replied the girl.  
  
Inside the sweets store,they sat down the booth to rest.  
  
"Can you still walk?"she asked worriedly when she saw how he eagerly sank to the cushioned seat.  
  
"Yes of course."  
  
"I know just the cure for that."She stood up and went to the counter.She then returned holding two boxes and two cups of shakes.She gave one cup to him."Let's go!"  
  
  
  
Unfortunately,Eriol looked like he would faint if he takes so much a step so they took the bus.Tomoyo sat by the window beside Eriol near the back of the vehicle.  
  
"Thank you for coming with me,Eriol.I had so much fun!"said the girl.  
  
He nodded."I had fun too."  
  
"But I'm quite beat."she yawned."And sleepy."She leaned on the window pane."Wake me up at the bus stop,ok?"  
  
"Y-You can lean on me if you want."he offered,not looking at her.  
  
"Thanks."She laid her head on his shoulders and closed her eyes.  
  
The engine roared to life,throwing the passengers forward.Eriol impulsively hugged her to hold her back.  
  
The driver turned the radio on.A slow love song played softly on the speakers,lulling every passenger to sleep.Everyone but Eriol,that is.  
  
Every cell of his body felt alive.He was very,very aware of the softness he was holding.He knew the ride was running smoothly and he could let go of Tomoyo already,but he couldn't.He simply couldn't.The fragrance of her hair was intoxicating,her sleeping angelic face looked so heartbreakingly sweet,and her body felt so good in his arms-as if she was the long-lost piece that would complete him.  
  
This was the first time he and Tomoyo became this physically close,and it was affecting Eriol greatly.He restrained himself with much difficulty from kissing her right there and then,or waking her up to confess his feelings.He musn't..he musn't..  
  
With his trembling hands,he tightened his embrace on Tomoyo.This is the only way he could mutely express how much he loves her.  
  
The girl smiled asnd snuggled closer to him.  
  
  
  
CHAPTER 5 PREVIEW  
  
He picked the paintbrush up and dipped it into the water.He then dipped it to the black paint and began painting the sketch he made.  
  
Kaho placed an arm around him."Master,my poopr,poor Master.."  
  
He smiled."Don't worry,Kaho.I have decided already to live my remaining days with Tomoyo,and I don't care what happens after the twenty-fourth."  
  
"But this girl..does she know how you feel?"  
  
"No."He put his brush down."I don't want to risk rejection or losing her.She is the most important person in my life!I think I'd rather live on hope." 


	5. 

December 20  
  
Eriol nodded in fascination as he absorbed the interesting insights the author gave about the most complex species known to man.  
  
Suddenly,Kaho opened the heavy door of the library."Master Eriol.."She did a double take.  
  
The boy's face reddened before he tried to hide it.Damn!This is NOT a good day.Kaho just caught him reading a Venus Exclusive magazine!"I-I'm doing an in-depth research for the class."he said quickly.  
  
"Ow?"Her eyebrow arched."About which one?Ten days to thinner tummies,the most dependable brand of deodorant in the market today,or You Can Beat Acne."  
  
He gave her a lay-off-my-case look.Was it his fault that he decided to be charitable this morning and cleared the table,where he found Nakuru's magazine lying open?Was it his fault that curiousity got him and urged him to browse its glossy pages?Was it his fault that he saw a halfway decent article about the "Signs When You're Falling For Your Best Friend Already"?But of course,he would rather watch a 24-hour marathon about the natural behaviors of caterpillars on TV than admit to Kaho about the lengths he'd go through to find out what Tomoyo feels for him.  
  
"Ms.Daidouji came to see you."the woman said.  
  
"Tomoyo?!Well why didn't you say so earlier?!I must have kept her waiting!"He stood up and fixed his clothes."Does my hair look alright?"  
  
"You look absolutely divine."said Kaho,rolling her eyes.  
  
He rushed downstairs and found Tomoyo downstairs,petting Spinel."What a pleasant surprise,Tomoyo."He smiled at her.  
  
She bowed down."I'm sorry if I had disturbed you or anything-"  
  
"No,no,it's OK."He motioned for her to follow him out to the garden."Let's talk."  
  
  
  
"I know you might find it weird for me to seek your company when we had just spent a whole day together yesterday."Tomoyo began as they walked outside.  
  
"I don't mind."he said truthfully.  
  
"It's just that I'm alone in the house today because Mother is out on a date with Mr.Kinomoto,while Sakura and Syaoran..they were asking me to join them,but of course I know they'd rather be alone.I'll just ruin the romantic atmosphere.."She laughed weakly."I'm babbling,am I not?"  
  
He smiled at her fondly."I can keep you company."  
  
She beamed."Thank you,Eriol."She plopped down the grass and tucked her knees,her face pensive again."Life is so unfair."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Everyone has someone else.It seems like everyone's falling in love while me..it's so unfair!"She turned to him."Maybe I'm jinxed when it comes to love.Sakura has Li,Mom has Mr.Kinomoto,Chiharu has Yamazaki..."  
  
You have me!His mind cried silently.If you can only notice me,you have me!  
  
"..and you have Kaho."she finished sadly.  
  
"Kaho is not my girlfriend."he repeated.  
  
"Tell that to the marines."she replied.  
  
"Really!"he insisted."But I do love someone else,but she-"he caught himself.  
  
"She what?"she asked.  
  
"You're changing the topic!The bottomline is,you'll have someone else too when the right time comes.For the meantime,you still have Sakura,Li,your mom.."He gazed at her.And me.He finished in his mind.  
  
Her eyes shook."E-Eriol..you're so kind."  
  
Suddenly his heart raced again.It was urging him to tell her what he feels.He suddenly called her.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
He inhaled deeply.It's now or never."I lo-"  
  
Suddenly,something cold fell to his skin.They both looked up and saw snow slowly falling.  
  
"It's snowing!"Tomoyo happily cried.  
  
"The snow came late this year."he remarked,his voice sounding normal again.  
  
She opened her palms to catch the falling silver flakes."Yeah."She turned to him."You were saying something awhile ago,Eriol?"  
  
He shook his head."I was just about to suggest that you get started on our art project already."  
  
"Sure!As long as you help me!"said Tomoyo gamely.  
  
They spent the whole afternoon inside his warm and cozy studio,making her project.  
  
  
  
That night,Eriol continued his own art project.  
  
He picked the paintbrush up and dipped it into the water.He then dipped it to the black paint and began painting the sketch he made.  
  
Kaho placed an arm around him."Master,my poopr,poor Master.."  
  
He smiled."Don't worry,Kaho.I have decided already to live my remaining days with Tomoyo,and I don't care what happens after the twenty-fourth."  
  
"But this girl..does she know how you feel?"  
  
"No."He put his brush down."I don't want to risk rejection or losing her.She is the most important person in my life!I think I'd rather live on hope."  
  
  
  
  
December 21  
  
"Does anyone in here know how to dance the basic steps of tango?"their P.E. teacher asked the class.  
  
Eriol raised his hand.  
  
"Good,Mr.Hiragizawa.Can you show us a few steps?"asked the teacher.  
  
He nodded and walked to the front.He then took the instructress' hands and led her gracefully to the steps.When they had finished,everyone applauded appreciatively.  
  
"Very good,Mr.Hiragizawa!"she gushed before turning to her other students."Alright,everyone,break into pairs.I will now teach you the basic steps."  
  
Some girls looked eagerly at Eriol's direction,but he was heading straight for Tomoyo.  
  
"May I?"he asked politely.  
  
She nodded slowly.He then took her hand and held her waist with his other arm.  
  
"And a one,two,three.."the teacher began to shout the instructions.  
  
Oftentimes Tomoyo made mistakes but Eriol's smile prodded her to go on.  
  
"And now,do the dip."said the instructress.  
  
Eriol twirled her around.This time,Tomoyo's footwork was perfect so she landed perfectly at Eriol's arms when he dipped her.  
  
The countings had stopped.Everyone had broke their pairs already.Everyone but the couple in the corner,still caught in their own world.  
  
Eriol felt his chest would explode,and he knew this wasn't from dancing.He ached to kiss her.Right now.  
  
And he did.Right in front of the gasping and gaping faces of their classmates and teacher,he kissed her passionately.   
  
  
  
Chapter 6 Preview  
  
He looked at the jolly Sta. Claus on TV,announcing that it's three days before christmas. It mocked his heart.Only three more days to live.  
  
A tear dropped down his cheek.  
  
"Master!!"Kaho exclaimed,alarmed.  
  
"K-Kaho.."his voice dropped into a whisper."I'm scared."  
  
"Master.."  
  
"For the first time since my illness began,I'm scared.I don't want to die yet.I still want to apologize to Tomoyo for loving her.She doesn't want my feelings..she doesn't need them What a fool I am for hoping that she feels the same way for me too."Another tear dropped down."God,help me..I'm so scared." 


	6. 

Chapter 6  
  
Eriol shivered again.He rubbed his two gloved hands together and blew on them.Merciless gusts of chilly wind attacked his body but he didn't even budge from his place.He looked up again at one of the windows of the Daidouji mansion where Tomoyo was standing,brushing her long,glossy hair.She was unaware of the wistful and longing eyes of the lonesome figure amidst the white snow.  
  
He enveloped his arms arounfd himself and shivered again.He knew what he was doing is,in Li's words,pathetic.Being a human snowman would not get him anywhere.If he's a real man,he should have knocked on the front door ages ago and told Tomoyo what he had to say.  
  
"I'm sorry for kissing you without permission."  
  
"I'm sorry for betraying your trust in me as a friend by falling in love with you."  
  
And the hardest word to say.Goodbye.  
  
He suddenly exhaled when he saw Tomoyo move towards the window.He thought he saw her eyes widen before she drew the curtains to a close.  
  
"No..she has not forgiven me yet."He clenched his fists in frustration before his shoulders sagged dejectedly.He walked away.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo arrived outside minutes later.She looked around,but found no one.  
  
"Must be my imagination only."she whispered.She was about to turn around when she saw a black scarf on the ground.She kneeled down and took it.  
  
"He was here."she whispered.  
  
  
  
That night...  
  
Eriol's screams of agony tore the placid silence of the night.  
  
"My powers aren't working anymore!"exclaimed Kaho.  
  
He banged his head on the floor repeatedly."Help me!It's killing me!!"  
  
Ruby Moon's face was wet with tears."Hang in there,Master!"She embraced her beloved lord.  
  
"We may need the help of Keroberos and Yue."said Spinel Sun as it shielded the others from the rampage of powers Eriol could not control anymore.  
  
Kaho nodded and summoned Keroberos telepathically while Ruby Moon summoned Yue.  
  
Spinel Sun shut its eyes."The beginning of the end."It all began when Eriol arrived in the house that early evening,face as white as a ghost.His body was numb with cold,and his pupils didn't look normal.As they were warming their master up,he suddenly complained of a heavy chest and shortness of breath.This led to this more painful attack.  
  
"Just when we thought he's going to be OK."the feline whispered.For the past few days,he looked more lively and cheerful.Behind his stern-looking glasses,his azure eyes twinkled,and his lips were always twitched in a trying-hard-not-to-laugh-but-can't smile.For the first time since he moved to London,Eriol was genuinely happy.This was all thanks to Tomoyo Daidouji.  
  
Yue and Keroberos arrived at the same time."W-What's happening?"asked the animal,staggered.  
  
"Questions later.Help us treat Master,NOW!"ordered Ruby Moon.  
  
The four of them united their powers to help him.After a few minutes,he calmed down and lost conciousness,but his body was still trembling from head to foot.  
  
"Not good."murmured Yue as he touched the boy's forehead.He turned to Kaho."What happened?"  
  
The woman looked down.  
  
  
  
  
December 22  
  
Tomoyo looked at the empty seat beside her worriedly."I wonder why he's absent."  
  
"Ms.Daidouji!"yelled their Science teacher.  
  
"Y-Yes Mam?"She stood up,cheeks flushed with embarassment."Eriol's going to be OK."she told herself soothingly.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
He looked at the jolly Sta. Claus on TV,announcing that it's three days before christmas. It mocked his heart.Only three more days to live.  
  
A tear dropped down his cheek.  
  
"Master!!"Kaho exclaimed,alarmed.  
  
"K-Kaho.."his voice dropped into a whisper."I'm scared."  
  
"Master.."  
  
"For the first time since my illness began,I'm scared.I don't want to die yet.I still want to apologize to Tomoyo for loving her.She doesn't want my feelings..she doesn't need them What a fool I am for hoping that she feels the same way for me too."Another tear dropped down."God,help me..I'm so scared."  
  
  
  
  
December 23  
  
Tomoyo finished the last few stitches she was making on the toy.She leaned on her desk and stared at Eriol's vacant seat sideways.  
  
"He's absent again.There must be a problem.Hope he's not sick or something."She checked her empty classroom.Everyone but her was in the canteen,taking lunch.  
  
"How boring lunch break is without Eriol."She sat on his seat and sighed.They used to converse here privately,exchanging school woes and cake recipes.Sometimes he would tell her about the books he had read and he then would listen attentively to her anecdotes about Sakura and Li.  
  
Every moment they spent together was always another memory to treasure and cherish.He was a perfect boyfriend.  
  
She blushed.What she meant was a friend who's a boy.A male companion.  
  
"Oh Tomoyo!No use in denying it!You do like him.You really,REALLY like him."she scolded herself.She had a crush on him ever since she first met him in the corridor,but she was afraidto show her feelings because he might think she was being too aggressive.  
  
"But he kissed me.That should count for something."she reasoned.But he has not yet said anything about it yet.In fact,he was PURPOSELY avoiding her!  
  
She buried her face in the crook of her arms."Maybe the kiss meant nothing to him.Maybe he just regarded it as a stolen kiss and nothing more."  
  
  
  
"What is this,Master?"asked Nakuru,staring at the giftwrapped box he was giving to her.  
  
He chuckled a little."My christmas gift,sweet Nakuru.Now be a good girl and take it."  
  
She eagerly unwrapped her gift and squealed when she saw a big box of chocolate.Meanwhile,Eriol turned to the cat and handed him another wrapped box."And for my clever lttle pet.."  
  
Spinel nodded gratefully and opened it.  
  
"Kaho.."  
  
The woman stepped forward and dutifully held her hand out.  
  
"You'll get your gift as soon as you do two small favors for me."he smiled mischievously.  
  
The woman smiled tearfully.Her master looked so fragile and weak,slumped on his favorite chair,but his wit and humor was still as sharp as ever."But of coure,Master eriol."  
  
"Get the videocamera."he ordered.  
  
  
Author's note:  
  
Next chapter shall be the finale of the fanfic,so I shall give no more preview.Meri Kurisumasu,minna-san! 


	7. 

Chapter 7  
  
December 24  
  
Tomoyo placed her art project alongside Sakura's.Her best friend's painting was the locket Li gave her lasyt year.Li's painting,on the other hand,was the teddy bear she gave him last christmas.  
  
She looked at her painting:the video camera her mother gave her back in fourth grade.She considered this as the best christmas gift she ever received because this enabled her to join her best friend in her Clow Card hunts,and later,battles with Eriol to gain her title as the rightful Card Mistress.  
  
Eriol.The thought of the person made her blush again.She missed him terribly.Why wasn't he going to school anymore?She had so much to say and so much to ask,and only Eriol held the answers.  
  
She absent-mindedly stepped aside when another person placed a painting on the platform.  
  
"Hello,Ms.Daidouji."  
  
She turned to the voice and saw Kaho."H-Hi.What are you doing here,Ms.Mizuki?"  
  
"I came here to bring Master Eriol's art project.He will not go to school anymore starting today."she explained,her eyes saddening.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"But Master does have a message for you.He told me to invite you over for dinner tonight in his place."  
  
"Well.."Tomoyo vaguely remembered that she and her mother are going to join the Kinomoto family tonight in the Christmas Eve dinner,but.."Ok,I'll go."  
  
"Great.See you at seven pm sharp."The woman was about to stand up when Tomoyo stopped her."One question,Ms.Mizuki."  
  
The red-haired woman looked at her expectantly.  
  
The girl reddened."Is Eriol y-your,um,boyfriend?"  
  
Kaho laughed,to the girl's astonishment."Oh no,Tomoyo!I am not a cradle snatcher!And even if I was,he will not even notice me."She smiled."He's deeply in love with someone else."  
  
Tomoyo's heart pounded."W-Who?"  
  
She winked."Ask him."  
  
  
  
Eriol was just enjoying the beautiful descent of the sun when Nakuru suddenly arrived,holding a dark blue dinner coat."Hey Master!"  
  
He smiled feebly."Why,if it isn't my favorite sweets pacman!"  
  
"Kaho told me to dress you up."She unbuttoned his white coat.  
  
"W-Why?"  
  
"She said that you must join us downstairs in our celebration."When she saw the wry smile on his face,she fluttered her lashes."Pretty pleeeeease?With chocolate syrup and Oreo cookies on top?"  
  
"Please stop that!You're scaring me."he shook his head,smiling.  
  
"Oh cmon,Master!It's just a few hours before christmas!Let's celebrate!"She pasted an even brighter smile on her face but deep inside,her heart was breaking.Her master looked years older because of the tired lines etched in his face that was as cheerful as the chopping board in the kitchen.He looked like he'd faint when he carries so much as a pencil.His body was wasting away greatly in a span of forty-eight hours,and she knew it would take a miracle for her master to make it to the Christmas Ball tonight.  
  
"I'm sorry to disappoint you,but I really do not feel well enough to join your celebration downstairs."he murmured apologetically.  
  
She fell to the floor,sobbing."Oh Master,this is so unfair!You don't smoke,you don't drink and you don't take drugs,but why do you have to die so young?"  
  
Spinel came out from her pocket and sat on its Master's lap wordlessly.  
  
"Take my life,Master,please!Use it to extend your days here in Earth.I know that your powers sustain my existence and you can use my life span to add more days in your life."continued Nakuru.  
  
"Take mine too."said the raven cat.  
  
Eriol smiled."Thank you,but I will not do it.Death is inevitable,like change.Nothing in this world is forever,and taking your lives will not change that fact."He turned to the steady fall of the snow that began as the skies darkened."Besides,I still have one more task for you to do."  
  
She rubbed her eyes."Anything,Master."  
  
"Take care of Tomoyo for me.I want you two to look after her when I can do so no more.I want you to treat her like a mistress."  
  
"Will do!"said Nakuru as she buried her face on her master's knee.  
  
Spinel sighed."She is a very special girl in your life,Master.Therefore,we swear to protect her with our lives."  
  
He stroked Nakuru's hair."Don't be sad,my friends.It's just five hours before christmas."  
  
Her eyes looked at his own pleadingly."Will you spend it with us?"  
  
Great pain and sorrow flickered in his face,but before he could reply,Kaho entered the room."Master Eriol,a special visitor awaits you."  
  
His forehead creased."I am afraid I do not expect any.Besides,I feel to exhausted to even stand up.May I ask you to tell my visitor to come up instead?"  
  
"Yes Master."she closed the door.  
  
"Well I guess we better get going."Nakuru stood up and looked out to the snow again."Yue once told me that it was snowing like this when Clow Reed passed away."  
  
Eriol nodded."I have a weak recollection of that day.I remembered passing away peacefully in the presence of my two loved ones,Yue and Keroberos."  
  
Her face crumpled again,but she bravely wiped the tears away and smiled."I'll send a food tray for you."  
  
"With lots of champagne!"added Spinel before they left his room.  
  
He was bathed in darkness once again after the door was closed.He leaned on the chair and rested his head.Special visitor?Now who could that be?His foolish heart dared to hope.Maybe,just maybe..  
  
Suddenly the door opened.He turned and saw Tomoyo Daidouji smiling at him tentatively.She was carrying a food tray."May I come in?"  
  
He rubbed his eyes to make sure she was real before he forced himself to sit properly."Certainly."  
  
She set the tray down on his desk before she sat in front of him."Hey there,long time no see."  
  
His eyes twinkled.She's not mad at him after all!"Yes."He smiled."You look stunning,Tomoyo."  
  
He saw her cheeks turn pink."Eriol.."She then turned serious."You look pale and sick.What's wrong?"  
  
"A cold,perhaps."  
  
Her eyes were unbelieving,but she said nothing.  
  
"It is not important.Anyway,what brought you here?"he wanted to know.  
  
She was dumbfounded."Kaho invited me over,saying you invited me to come for dinner."  
  
"I never-"he chuckled."That little witch!"  
  
Tomoyo understood what he meant."So Kaho was lying."  
  
"It doesn't matter.I will just have to thank Kaho later."He turned to the food."Let's eat!"  
  
  
  
A few hours later...  
  
Tomoyo checked her watch.It says 11:45."Man,we chatted for more than 4 hours already!Time flies so fast when I'm with you."  
  
He smiled before he reclined."Do you mind if I close my eyes for a second?"  
  
Tomoyo remembered what Kaho told her before she went up to his room hours ago.She must never let him sleep even one wink."Just fifteen more minutes before christmas,Eriol.Don't sleep."  
  
He felt very,very sleepy.This he told Tomoyo but she begged him not to sleep.  
  
"Eriol,come on!We'll celebrate the first minute of christmas together.Don't sleep!"she cried out,almost desperately.She sensed something ominous about Kaho's warning.  
  
He opened his eyes with great difficulty."Tomoyo,listen.I'll tell you something important."  
  
She nodded.Talking would surely keep him awake!  
  
"I..I'm leaving you soon,and I will not come back anymore."he began.  
  
"To London?"She remembered what Kaho told her about Eriol not going to school anymore.She heaved a sigh of relief.So that was it!She thought it was because of something else."I-It's Ok.We can write letters,call each other,and even visit each other once in a while."She paused when she saw the answer in his clear blue eyes."No!Eriol..no!Don't say it!"  
  
He shook his head."I'm sorry,Tomoyo.I'm dying."  
  
"But how?Why?"Tears welled up her eyes.  
  
"It's too complicated to explain.Let's just say I'm not supposed to exist in this world,for I already lived in another lifetime already."  
  
"No!"Tomoyo sobbed and threw her wself in his arms."It's not true!"  
  
"Tomoyo,please don't cry."He tipped her trembling chin up."Seeing you cry is much more painful than dying.Don't cry please."He cupped her tear-streaked face and kissed her tears away one by one."Alright,I'll try my best to stay awake for you."  
  
She nodded before reaching for her bag and pulling out a green-and-red box tied with a golden ribbon."This is my christmas gift."  
  
He eagerly unwrapped it and gasped.It was a small,handmade teddy bear with a Santa cap.   
  
"I know you once told me that those teddy bear tales are not true-"  
  
"Thank you,Tomoyo."He hugged the bear."May I call it 'Tomoyo'?"  
  
She nodded."My thoughts exactly."  
  
Eriol felt his heart leap."Then 'Tomoyo' it is."  
  
Tears were threatening to spill from her eyes again."Eriol..Eriol,I.."  
  
He then felt his chest tighten and his breath run short.He immediately knew what it meant.He stroke the girl's soft delicate hands and brought them to his lips."I must go now."  
  
She tightened her grip on his hands."Don't!Eriol,please don't!We still have to attend tomorrow's ball,remember?I'm going to wear a fabulous gown and it will be a shame if I don't have an escort.Eriol!"  
  
"I can hear the angels singing.."  
  
"It's only the christmas carols outside!"  
  
"..and the stars are twinkling beautifully tonight."  
  
"It's only the christmas lights outside!"she insisted tearfully.  
  
He gazed at her,memorizing the contours of her face."Tomoyo,can I kiss you goodbye?"A lump formed in his throat when the thought of leaving her crossed his mind.  
  
Her voice broke."E-Eriol?"  
  
"You are the best thing that ever happened in my whole life,and if I live to a hundred,I will love only you again and again."He then sealed her lips with a farewell kiss.After they parted,his eyes grew misty.He leaned back on his chair and closed his eyes.  
  
"Eriol,don't go!"  
  
His grip on her hands tightened.  
  
"Please!!"  
  
His grip loosened.  
  
"Please.."  
  
His hands fell limply on his lap.  
  
"Eriol,I love you!!"she cried."You are the most important person in my life!Don't leave me alone!Please keep me company!!Eriooool!!!!"  
  
I love you so.  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
Goodbye.  
  
At the stroke of twelve and the beginning of christmas,Eriol Hiragizawa is gone.  
  
  
  
It had always been my dream to lead a perfectly normal life:to get a stable job,marry my beloved girl,and start a happy family.I then met you,and a part of my dreams was realized,for I found my lifetime happiness in you.  
  
It's just too bad that everything was cut short by my illness.I know it doesn't have a cure,and I can only escape it through death.So I accepted my fate as a course of life.  
  
But when I met you,I suddenly feared dying.I thought I had taken care of that fear already,but when you're in love,you would find it hard to leave her,especially when you are already attatched to her.I still wanted to see you,talk to you, and live my everyday with you.Even if I just love you from a distance,it is fine.As long as you don't go away.I am aware that my feelings will only lead to nowhere,but I simply can't stay away from you.You are irresistably pretty,smart,kind caring and a million more things I can't express into words.All I know is I love you more and more in each passing day.  
  
I'm sorry when I kissed you back in Dance class without your permission.It's just that I had to show you how I feel in one way or another or I'll explode.I'm really sorry.Someday,I hope you forgive me.  
  
Thank you for coming into my life just when I needed you most.You made me so happy in the few days left in my life.You gave me the reason to continue living the rest of my days to the best I can.  
  
I'm probably already gone by the time you're watching this,Tomoyo,but I want you to know that you are the first time I loved forever.In those few days we had shared,I felt I have known you for a lifetime already.I felt I was ready to share my whole life with you.Surely,this must be the forever that poets speak about:the moments,however short,you spent with the one you love dearly.  
  
I love you very much,Tomoyo.Take care,and be happy.  
  
  
  
Tomoyo pushed the stop button of the VCR.Her vision was blurred with tears.Kaho handed this tape to her awhile ago in Eriol's burial.This was taped on the night of the twenty-third.This was the last message Eriol had for her that he asked Tomoyo to tape since he thought he'll never see her again.She watched the tape right after she attended the christmas ball,where she saw a big crowd of people looking at Eriol's painting admiringly while wondering who the subject was that the artist took great care of bringing into life through his colors.  
  
Her heart then stopped.It was her.Kaho came up behind her and told her that Eriol painted her because she was the best christmas gift he ever received that came in advance because fate knew that he wouldn't be there anymore for christmas.  
  
True enough,under the painting were the words:  
  
The loveliest of presents do not need fancy trimmings or wrappers at all.To my beloved rabven jewel,Merry Christmas.  
  
The End. 


End file.
